


Get Angry At Me Please

by flxss



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Reunions, Unresolved Romantic Tension, argument
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:33:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27549148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flxss/pseuds/flxss
Summary: Troy's back, he's home, but there's so many unsaid words. So many unkept promises. What does Abed want from him?
Relationships: Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir
Comments: 5
Kudos: 53





	Get Angry At Me Please

Ever since Troy had come back, properly and to him, it had been good. Really good. They were finally best friends like they had always been and it was a relief more than anything. It could have been way worse, he’d dreamed that Troy would come back and forget his name or slap him or handcuff him to a wall. For years, Abed felt as though he was broken, even more than usual, because of the missing puzzle piece. Troy Barnes was necessary to him, like water or Vitamin C or Thursday night reruns of The Empire Strikes Back. 

When Troy had called him and sheepishly asked if he could stay with Abed in L.A., Abed didn’t know what to do. He said it would just be for a few months, but Annie had told Abed about the collapse of Hawthorne Industries, how Troy had lost everything. So Abed said yes, he bought a blow-up mattress and went to the grocery store for cocoa powder. He cleared out a drawer for him and bought DVD copies of the last five seasons of Inspector Spacetime, partly because of the terrible WiFi in this apartment and partly because he could then give the physical copies of it to Troy, in case he needed to watch them anywhere else where he didn't have WiFi. He’d probably seen them since anyway, it was a stupid idea. And then, when Troy turned up with a single duffel bag of clothes in the rain in the middle of the night, Abed pushed down the urge to remember each time he’d looked up and not seen those eyes shining back at him. Troy didn’t need that. He didn’t need that. 

That night they had both sat mostly in silence, letting the six years hang between them. Troy looked at Abed occasionally, finding slight lines on aspects of his face that he didn’t remember, a hollow quality to his eyes when he didn’t think Troy was looking. Abed didn’t think that he personally had changed at all, but Troy was now a different person. His hair had grown out a bit, so had his now fully formed beard. He was wearing a new shirt that had never been in their shared closet before. Why did Abed think that he’d still have all the same clothes? Abed criticized himself, thinking ‘Not everyone was as unfashionable as Neurodiverse Student in Cardigan!’.Either way, Troy’s eyes still lit up when Abed turned on the TV to resume his re-watch of Inspector Spacetime. Troy collapsed into the armchair and let out a ‘ha!’ noticing the familiar characters on the screen. He grinned ear to ear at Abed, “I haven’t watched this in ages. Not since- Well we didn’t have anywhere to watch TV on the boat, I pretty much just played straight games of bridge with Levar.... I only knew the rules of snap…”

Abed averted his eyes at the mention of the boat, you could say it's a sore point in his life. Every time he sees anything tangentially related to seafaring he usually freezes, his brain short circuits. It was a real issue that year that Jean Paul Gaultier put up a billboard literally outside his window. But now, he’s sat with his very own sailor on the seat next to him. 

“It’s a good TV show, you’ve missed 5 seasons since you left. The Inspector went to fight the blorgons a few weeks ago-

“What about Reggie?”

“Uh, Reggie left. He decided he was being held down by the spacetime adventures and - And the Inspector.”

“Oh.” Disturbed by the change in mood, Abed forces a smile. 

“But they changed it! He got joined by Alexia and they have an interesting but different dynamic, focusing more on the emotional toll of the space-time travel on the Inspector. It’s sweet.”

“Cool!” Troy stands up and grabs his bag, causing Abed to flinch and stare at him.”Where am I sleeping dude? I’m so tired you would not believe.”

Over in the corner is the door to Abed’s room, pale wood with stickers plastered over it of many different fixations Abed has had over the years. Peeking through the ajar door was the mattress and its star wars sheets on the floor. Abed points.

“In there. You can put your stuff wherever, there might be space in the bottom drawer if you want to put anything there. And you can keep the copies of Inspector Spacetime if you want. So you can catch up; I have other copies.” Troy’s mouth upturns, he says thanks. When he looks into the bottom drawer it’s completely empty, the drawer above it is overflowing with t-shirts stuck into their unwanted spaces. Troy smiles again, an intimate smile. Maybe things aren’t so different. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a few weeks it started to be normal, Abed remembers thinking it felt like he was almost home again, whatever that packed sentiment meant. Troy hadn’t managed to find work yet, but it didn’t really matter about the rent or anything. He’d come with Abed sometimes to set, they’d take the bus together there. It was reassuring for both of them to have the other close, for Troy because he was new in Los Angeles and Abed because… Well, because it was Troy. The film was fun, but pretty stressful lately with the budget. Seeing Troy calmed him.

Other days, when it was raining usually, they would go get the groceries and sit watching movies. Abed wanted to catch him up on the best movies he hadn’t seen. Troy had seen a few of them, but Abed was so excited to show them it didn’t matter that much. A highlight had been the re-watch of the new Star Wars trilogy, some films that Troy could measure Abed’s passion by due to the little gasp he’d add to the bits he liked and how he’d rub his index finger against his thumb when talking about something he really disliked. Rise of Skywalker had been.... Challenging. At the end of that film they’d been sat on the same chair, sidled up together, nitpicking the bits they didn’t like and suggesting lost potential not so frequently as to make their hearts ache. 

There was something new in these viewings. Goodbye scenes left them silent, constantly Troy just felt guilt. He was waiting for Abed to say something, anything. Instead Abed would frown and zone out whenever these scenes happened. Troy was more uncomfortable when the kissing scenes happened. Those made him blush. 

It was just the one time when Troy even felt close to getting what he wanted. What he told himself he wanted. They were both lying, trying or pretending to sleep. They’d both been drinking, celebrating the end of shooting and Abed’s first feature. The cast had a party, but Abed showed up for a bit and left. He wasn’t really interested in the whole party thing. But then he definitely made up for his lack of party fervor by his later drinking. He drank Troy under the table, by which it is meant that he drank and decided to sit under the table for no apparent reason. It was fun, but wow so exhausting. Or not exhausting, but freeing and that freedom can be exhausting when you’re as tightly wound as Troy and Abed were around each other. Lying down Troy could hear Abed say it.

“I wish you’d never left me. I feel like I’ve only just got myself back now, with you here.”

It was a whisper in the dark, touching Troy’s ears gently like a punch to the gut. It’s what he wanted to know.. And hearing it laid out on the table like that, it didn’t make him sad. He’d been sad for years, every time he saw a film for god’s sake. There was exceptional WiFi and a built in DVD and sound system on that boat that Levar used a lot. The reason he didn’t watch any of it was because he knew he’d just think of Abed which was a pain he wanted to avoid more than anything. No, now he felt… Infuriated, angry. That Abed would just not say whatever he’s feeling. To explain whatever has made him bite his tongue each time Troy talks about the past in any way. How he had left and left Abed. He wanted Abed to shout at him, but that wasn’t his thing. Instead Troy rolled over, and slept. He dreamed of bad things that night. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day is excruciatingly painful. Almost. Abed can't sit up in the morning for his headache, and his whole body feels numb. Maybe he drank too much last night. Not that he can really remember what he drank, it's a big blur. Troy isn't in his bed anymore, he must be pretty okay compared. He had plenty of virgin mojitos whereas Abed slipped in a lot of alcohol. There is an empty glass next to his bed that lies as a reminder of his sore head. Pulling the covers off himself softly, he stands up and walks to his door. When he starts to open it and was hit by a blast of light, he had to turn and root in his drawers for a pair of sunglasses. Unfortunately the only pair to hand were novelty 2020 glasses from New Year's. 'They'll do, ' he thinks. 

Abed finds a bit of leftover pancake mix and with it makes approximately 3.6 pancakes. One point six pancakes for him and two for Troy, whenever he gets back. He munches his down and leaves Troy's on the side to cool. And then when he's sitting staring at the clock making far too much noise, Troy comes through the door panting- He's been running? He's head to toe in exercise gear and sweating and really heavy-footed that it's hurting Abed's ears, making his head vibrate. Over the vibrations he mumbles out, "Troy, pancakes. I made them for you." Abed pulls his sunglasses down and looks at Troy but sees his back. 

Troy walks straight past him "Okay Abed," and pulls the bathroom door shut. The shower starts and Troy isn't singing like he usually does. In response to either Troy ignoring him or all the damn noise and lights, Abed decides it's time for him to sleep again. He pulls the drawstrings on his hoodie and practically crawls back to his room, taking refuge under the duvet. The shower is still running and is a surprisingly soothing sound. It didn't take long to drift off. 

When Abed wakes up he's been tucked in neatly at the sides, but Troy still isn't anywhere around. It must be late now, considering he's slept through the day and it's pretty dark out. The TV is still on, he must have left recently. What is wrong with him today? Abed sits to watch the random show that's come on, some game-show, and then Troy comes in with a huff. He looks at Abed, frowning. His eyes widen, like he's deciding what to say, but then he sighs out of his nose and turns on his heels to the kitchen. Abed just blinks at him. Also frowns, and then goes after him. This is confusing, Troy doesn't usually do... this. Of all the people that Abed knows, Troy has always been the most open. Britta was perhaps the only person who came close. Annie was open, but in a different sense, in a diplomatic way. Troy cried last week because the bus driver didn’t say ‘You’re welcome’ when he thanked him for his ticket. Maybe somewhere he had changed more than Abed thought. 

"Why are you avoiding me?" It’s better just to come out and say it, all the weird avoidances just makes everything ten times more confusing for Abed. 

"I'm not Abed, leave it alone."

"But you left me this morning, when I made you pancakes you didn't answer me and went to the shower, then you left when I slept again."

"Abed, I told you it's," He sighs deeply and looks Abed in the eyes, "It's nothing." Troy must have decided he's done with this conversation because he's walking away, but Abed follows him. Troy can't just leave him anymore, he won't let him.

Walking behind him Abed tries to talk to him, "Is it something I have done, you can tell me if I am being annoying. I can deal with it better, I got used to that feeling." At that Troy turns around and stops, startling Abed.

"You can't just say that man! Like it's nothing? I am the one who made you get used to feeling annoying because I left you and you should get angry! I was a dick-"

"Troy, you needed to go and be your own person That's not fair to yourself," He thinks a second to himself and then looks back up at Troy with those eyes that could stop Troy's heart if he wanted. Troy can't help but be disarmed by them. Until Abed says another thing. "Why should I get angry, I've spent long enough being sad"

Troy now starts to walk away again, going to the bedroom and picking up his stuff from the drawer. "No, Abed. Don't say that! I can't listen to it anymore."

"Fine I won't say it anymore." 

Abed throws Troy's bag to him and he starts to walk away. If Troy doesn't want him to say it then it can be that simple, no feelings in it. He can just not say it and then Troy will be happy. If Troy doesn't want him to talk about that then he just won't talk at all, 'There Troy! how's that?' he thinks. But he knows that Troy is right behind him. 

"No, Abed. Come back." Troy's hand presses between their chests to hold the door closed, "I didn't mean it like that." Fine then, Abed won't back down. He'll do whatever bit Troy wants to play out right now. Instead of backing away he stays at that close distance and responds. "What did you mean it like Troy? That you don't want me to stop showing my feelings because it makes you too guilty? That is what you're saying, right? This happened in Inspector Spacetime when Reggie-" 

"Stop talking about TV! I want to know how you feel! I feel guilty already, I just want to know what you actually want to tell me!" Abed looks at Troy's hand, now on his shoulder rather than the door, and swallows without being able to meet Troy's eyes again.

He looks at the ground and says, "I have nothing to tell you Troy, you're the one who has been avoiding me all day. In fact you've been weird the whole time you've been back. You just show up at my door, no notice, and then stay here with me, go to set with me, but still won't tell me anything about Hawthorne Industries or why it didn't work out.” Troy has tightened his grip on his shoulder, so Abed looks up and finally says it, what’s been there all this time…”Or why you came back to me of all people!?"

Troy is… angry at him? It seems so at least, as he talks or almost shouts in their close proximity, his hand gets tighter on his arm, sort of becoming like a claw. "Why do you think I came back here Abed. I had three houses,” His other arm flies into the air for dramatic effect.”Three houses! I was only planning to stay here for three months, now that time is up,” Oh, is that tears on his eyes? Abed may have misjudged some of these emotions. It’s too confusing. Troy sort of smiles, more of a grimace, hiding the emotion that is clear now. Abed reaches his hand to where Troy’s sits on his shoulder still, loosening the grip that’s starting to hurt. But he doesn’t let go of his hand, he circles his thumb gently over it while Troy continues to, well, basically shout at him. He has to let his emotions out, “Why do you think I wanted to stay? I know you realized the time was up but you haven't said anything! Do you want me to leave now?" 

It’s pretty obvious Troy is trying to ignore the hand over his, he must find it weird, so Abed pulls it away to his side, but swears he could feel Troy reaching out for him at the last moment. Just a faint touch of fingers. "I don't want you to leave Troy. What do you want?"

"I want you to tell me how you feel!" 

"What do you mean 'how I feel'?"

"Since I came back you've been avoiding something! So tell me, or reenact it, I don't care! I'm just sick of those stares or the way you sigh if I leave without telling you. It's too much and I can't do it anymore! I've laid it all out now, it's your turn. So what are you gonna say Abed? How do you feel?"

"How do I feel?" 

Troy is staring at Abed still, waiting for an answer. All these simulations and outcomes have been calculating in his head the entire time, but at that moment he doesn’t need them. He just jumps forward and enjoys the shocked squeak Troy makes when Abed pulls his waist forward and kisses him, not forcefully, but with purpose. Like it was meant to be. Troy gasps for air after a few seconds and stares at Abed once again, both in shock and in curiosity. It’s as though suddenly after searching inside a well for years, thinking he knew everything there, he’s found a trapdoor that will plummet him into the unknown again. A whole new Abed to find. It’s scary and oh-so-exciting. He grabs Abed’s hand, caressing it like Abed had just before, and places it on his blushing cheek. So this is what Abed wants. Maybe it’s not so bad.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted an 'angry' fic, or at least as much as I could manage. I love fluff, but I like the balance as well :]


End file.
